What the heck happened to Halloween?

I know there are those out there with genuine food allergies this Halloween season, so please take this as being a very tongue in cheek reflection as to what Halloween has morphed into... an overly PC fearful, nut fearing, Elsa ridden (I love Frozen, don't get me wrong) over-thunk Holiday that has just become sucked free of the joy from my childhood.

I just want to be 8 again, dressed as Wonder Woman, approach the door and say 'Pardon me, but may I partake of your fine stash of sweets so that I may go home and jump up and down on the bed all night and cost my parents hundreds of dollars in dental care, oh, and give me the one that is peanut flavored with nuts in it and not wrapped, I just want to see my mother's head spin off her shoulders.'

More on the joys of being a 'Free Lancer'

Let's see, where did I leave off... oh yeah...

7. Save EVERYTHING! Every receipt from every purchase you have made that's business related... and no, as much as it pains me to say this, chocolate is NOT a business expense. Business related is software and computer hardware that you use to make your business work (No, World of Warcraft accounts do not count), office furniture (ergo chairs do fall under the realm, sparkly chandeliers do not), business lunches and social engagements (with clients, you feed yourself every day and you do not count that as a tax write off do you... no, didn't think so), transportation (if you are meeting clients, and be sure to track mileage, there are smart phone apps to do so), and general 'office supply' expenses (paper for printer, ink cartridges, business cards, not 'twinkle lights' for your home office or Bose stereo speakers...)

8. Get your own e-mail address, do not use your home/personal one, and ABSOLUTELY do not use your current employer e-mail address (had someone do that at my former job, and it became his former job, I have to say this, because it has been done) and not with a 'cutesy' name, keep it along your 'brand' and professional. If you're marketing a hard line of survivor equipment no one is going to take 'pinkfluffybunny@aol.com' seriously if that's your business e-mail address.

Well that's all for today from the business side of Altered Whimseys... I'm going over to the 'other' side of my office and work on Christmas card elements for the rest of the day.

The joys of being a 'Free Lancer'...

Although I'm disabled, I am doing some pro-bono work as a PR and Social Media consultant for a non-profit called Joy House SLE. I love the joys of 'working' from home, here is a list I have compiled for those considering 'self' employment.

1. I'm going to be straight up about this, you're not going to have a 401k, or benefits of any kind (medical, dental, corporate SWAG)... you're on your own. Do your homework first before cutting any ties and for Pete's sake, don't EVER burn any bridges when planning on a solo career. Fortunately my husband has great benefits through his work place, as well as his Navy retirement, and I have benefits as well from my former employer as well as my disability that I EARNED. (Some people are confused about the disability that you EARN rather than is just handed out to you like it's your birth right. Throughout my 30 year working time I paid into disability, and after my Dr. pretty much said 'you're done' I applied for disability. That's as personal as I'm going to get on that subject, if you want more information on that, e-mail me.)  Just do your home work, period. This is your baby, no one else is gonna raise it for you.

2. Brand it, then Blog. Blog, and blog some more. When I mean brand it, I mean get a logo (make your own, don't steal, that's a whole other can of worms you don't want to deal with as a start up) take pictures of your merchandise and create a catch phrase about the work you do. Facebook, and dare I say this word... Twitter... Get out on the social networks and make yourself known. I use Blogger through Google. It's easy to use and has lots of templates that look professional that you can adapt with a certain amount of skill. Linked In is nice (ahem), but beware, you can be seen, but for a ridiculous price they can 'allow' others to contact you. (They're like an angry mother who has grounded you...I do not recommend them for start ups).

3. It's not all sit at home behind the computer in your jammies, you will have to get out in the 'real world' and network, and meet with others if you plan a client rather than consumer based business. Client based is more intimate and requires more attention, consumer is the shop and ship. Even with shop and ship, you will have to get out there, unless you order your boxes and shipping materials delivered to your home (USPS and Fed Ex does that, not sure about UPS) With clients you will most likely have to meet them face to face. Especially if you have a photography or PR/Social Media  type of business like I have. You're going to have to network for them as well...so don't throw away your 'office clothes'... just make sure they still fit and are presentable. Common sense people, common sense.

4. Be sure to have your I-9 and Tax information prepared come January. See the IRS website for that kind of info. Do your homework, I'm not going to do it for you, otherwise I will charge you... :) 

5. Be on friendly terms with your UPS, Fed Ex Office and US Postal Service people if you plan a shop and ship kind of business. They can make you or break you, be kind to the hand that feeds you. I've seen so many people get that 'They're civil servant' attitude towards their carriers, and well, it bit them in the proverbial tushie. 

6. Before you lay down the bucks for a .net or .com ....research what's out there and what you can afford. Also, be sure that you can either build your own site with a template that you can import to your .net or .com, or have the cash ready to dole out to some out of work coder who needs a job to get through grad school, or to pay their way into Comic-Con to build your site for you. Or better yet, an up and coming Techno-Diva looking to hone her skills. 

7. Network through your friends, but ask their permission first. Don't start posting your brand on their FB page or hashtagging your name all over their Twitter. Baaaaaad idea. That's a bad way to end a friendship, because 9 out of 10, they will tell you to knock it off. I love my friends, I'm just not their political or business platform on my FB page. I have to say this because I've had it happen. I've had the Amway and 'home business'  trolls in my crafting message boards years ago.... they're like bamboo, irritating and hard to get rid of. I tell them once. Politely. Then I push the 'ignore' button. 

Well, it's time for my lunch... or brunch... I got up at 10... another 'perk' of self employment... Stay tuned for more of this article... the words really seem to be flowing today. My executive decision for the day... noodle soup or left over chicken fried rice. I know, the pressure, I think my head's going to explode.

Slowly getting back into the swing of things...

Well, my cooking mojo is back.... I enjoy going out to dinner and letting someone else do the cooking; but nothing beats a home cooked meal. David has been great these past three weeks taking care of things and doing some of the cooking. Tonight I made baked chicken with a spice rub, garlic Brussels sprouts sauteed, and white rice with orzo.

Dink... yes, dink...

For those of you non Navy folk, dink means to be behind in something or not do something at all... I have seriously been dink in keeping up with my House Frau blog. I have good reason to. Since the end of August, continuing on, I have had kidney stones from HELL, in both kidneys. I have gone from being ok and managing the pain, to literally not being able to get out of bed the pain is so bad. I am so frustrated because I haven't been able to finish my Project Clean, which should have been done the last weekend in August. So my bedroom still remains a disaster and my master bath floor and tub is still dirty. But I'm not dead, and life goes on, and I will get back to my normal routine. Once I get rid of those horrid little bastards. Ugh. So that's it in a nutshell. No fleeting words of wisdom or tasty recipes... those will have to wait.

Monday....

So far so good... our new A/C and heating unit will be installed on Monday of next week, I got the fridge cleaned out (scary and stinky and I will never let it go like that again), a load of laundry done... I'm done for the day. Well, for the most part. Going grocery shopping tonight. Hot date with the hubby.

Friday... what will I do today?

Once again it's almost three in the morning and I'm not asleep. The UVerse drama is over and all is well in that department. Right now I just can't sleep. Ugh.

Craptacular...

Today is a rare day, I am in a REALLY bad mood and my 'filter' is not on, so I apologize in advance. I can't be Miss Sweetness and Light all the time. Yesterday started out great, got the living room clean (I'm not going to vacuum until ATT is done with their install...which is another part of this blog rant), the dining room is clean except for the floor which I'll do when I do the kitchen, they're connected and the same tile so I'll do them at the same time. Then afternoon hit, ATT couldn't finish the install, and then I just had meltdown when I found out about Robin. I spent the whole night crying. Not sure if I'm done yet, right now I'm just supremely pissed at ATT because Well it's 10AM (they said they'd be here at 8:45 and ATT is still not here (strike 2....) ) Something about they couldn't get behind the back gates. HELLO! They had our phone number they could have called. Grumble grumble. Trying to stay positive. I will be sending a letter to corporate along with a letter to the Installation Manager about how he needs to re-evaluate how he does things, because right now this is just unsat (Navy term for beyond unacceptable). So I go into the kitchen to make myself breakfast, I wanted cereal in my brand new cereal bowl.... I HAVE NO MILK... no one to blame but myself, but still it was a kick in the jimmy. So I'm being good and drinking my 'green juice' and blogging while I'm doing laundry. I really wanted to take a day off today because I'm tired. Ladies, don't get your panties in a wad, no I didn't run any major marathons nor am I balancing the schedules of three rugrats and doing all this... remember the name of the blog... the House Frau, House Wife with NO KIDS. (It's not that I don't like children, I love children, I would have loved to have had one or two, but my plumbing just didn't work)... I deal with major health issues and tire easily. Well, the laundry just beeped at me... must go throw it in the dryer...be right back. 

This is my home... it's no palace, but it's home.... 

the bed is made and the day begins...

Well, the ATT guy just called and the install tech is on his way. I need to NOT get my BP up today, that would not be good. For those of you who don't know I have a a condition called malignant hypertension. Basically, my blood pressure can go from normal to ridiculously and dangerously high within a split second. It damages my kidneys and weakens my heart. Which reminds me, I need to take my meds... ugh, see, my day is all catty whompus.

Today we do not post.... we just remember the light that went out.

In Memory of Robin

Let us remember him like this. Let's not speculate on the how or why, let's remember him. The tour de' force of comedy as well as drama. A man of deep compassion for all.

I know about depression, and I know about addiction, that's something we both (Robin and I) shared . I've suffered from bipolar from the age of 26, and I've been sober for 19 years. Alcoholism and addiction in general is a hard road to hoe, it takes lots of strength. It makes me angry when people say it was 'selfish'... depression is a disease that we have no control over, and it's not about 'THEM (who say he's selfish), it's about Robin, he was suffering while you were laughing at his movies and stand up. If he would have died of a heart attack would you have called him selfish?

All by myself...

Well this weekend was David's weekend with the 'Water Buffalos' as I call them, so it was just me and the kitties hanging out for the weekend. I did rest as ordered, but I picked up little things here and there, and finished off a small project of clearing off the dining room sewing table. We have this antique sewing table that belonged to David's grandmother that we inherited and it lives in our dining room. It had also become the 'place where we put things where we don't know where else to put them table'... and it had become a mess. Half the stuff that was on it went into recycling, and the other half was put away in it's place. The dining room is almost done with the exception of my 'purse collection' in the corner and David's 'chair of crap he needs to put away'. There's just no delicate way to put it.  I also need to do the floor in there as well as replace the cat's dish and feeding area. I think that might be the last thing I do as I'm going to have David slowly clear his chair. As I said before, his 'man cave' is his responsibility. I am not going to touch that with a ten foot pole except to put his stuff in that belongs in there. I've been doing the rest of the house mind you, that's his. I certainly don't want him attempting to organize my 'sacred' creative space upstairs. Although we do 'share' the sewing table in it, the rest is MY territory.

Resting today.... it's ok to rest...

I'm resting today.... had a little setback last night, and I've been ordered to rest the next several days while my body gets used to some new meds. I have a hard time resting, makes me feel lazy, like I'm not doing my 'part'.  One has to remember a marriage is 100%/100% not 50/50. I grew up in a household where my grandmother pretty much waited on my grandfather hand and foot, HE was her life. Almost like she had no identity. I know that's not totally true, but when he died, she's pretty much become a fixture on the couch that does nothing but watch TV. It's sad. I love my husband, and I love to do things for him, and with him but we both have our own identities as well. Yesterday David and I had to derail our usual after work rest and dinner routine to go to the urgent care. Because of my background, I felt like I was being a big imposition just asking him to drive me to the clinic. That is totally not the case, David was ready and willing and it's just what married people do. I had a very dysfunctional role model for marriage and home life.

Anyhow, today I'm resting...and I'm frustrated because the bathroom floor and tub need finish cleaning. The towels need washing, the living room needs dusting and 'decluttering'. But I must rest.

Salty 'Gumbo' and other derp moments...

Well, as I'm feeling better I'm getting back into the swing of things. Yesterday the ATT people were supposed to come and install UVerse, but for some reason when I re-scheduled last week I screwed up. They're not coming til this Monday. So yesterday morning I was up bright and early and had laundry done, the kitchen cleaned, I mean REALLY cleaned, the living room vacuumed and dinner prepped.

My 'new' kitchen stove top...

Anyhow, I made a sausage and vegetable 'Cajun' slow cooker meal of my own invention. I won't list the ingredients because you won't want to fix it for yourself... derp #2.  It came out too salty, and when I say too salty it was, even for me. As a heart patient I have to watch my salt, and it was redundantly salty. So needless to say my husband smiled and ate it, he said it was good, but the heart patient here just had a dish of buttered rice for dinner as I was just plain disgusted and didn't want to fix anything else. I was so mad, I worked so hard on it. Have you ever done anything like that? To add insult to injury, over the course of the day my feet and ankles had decided to swell, that was a new one for me. So I resigned myself to the couch, watched Bobcat Goldthwait on Netflix and proceeded to fall asleep. I guess Bobcat isn't as funny as he used to be. 

Yeah, it's been a while

After spending two weeks with my Idaho family in their nice home I came home and felt really depressed. My house is a disaster. I won't mince words. It's not gross with garbage laying around and other things I won't mention, but it's a mess none the less. So with steady resolve I have been constructing a plan to have it in shape by the end of the month. Mind you, David's office is his own to deal with as is his 'chair'. I will be strongly encouraging him to clean off and organize both, or I will do it for him. I just refuse to live in a mess anymore. I used to be very laid back about that kind of thing, but it just kind of snowballed and now I can't find anything anywhere and I lose things constantly in the clutter. I'm a homemaker, and I should be doing as such. Ugh. (Insert mini pity party). Last week both David and I cleaned the downstairs bathroom/cat's room, I've been working on the kitchen (still have to finish cleaning the stove), and all I have now is the living room and upstairs bedroom.

First Day of Spring....

First day of Spring was yesterday.... and I am so ready for it. It's been a rough winter, as if you couldn't tell from my past blog posts, and I'm ready to start anew. Time for spring cleaning and I already have a pile of clothes and shoes ready to go to the church yard sale (April 5th at UMC Rancho Cordova for my local readers). I'm loving having the house opened up and letting the fresh air in...... What's on the agenda for today? Shopping for a bridal shower gift, menu planning for next week and then grocery shopping. David and I usually go grocery shopping together, but since he's been working crazy hours for overtime I'm going to go it alone. It's usually our 'hot date'...LOL. Seriously. Right now it's almost 2 in the morning and I'm wide awake.

Thursday at the Cole's

I had NO sleep last night. None, nada. Zilch. I've been fighting a cold/cough, thought I was winning the other day. Yesterday, in spite of my plans to go do something for myself, I spent the day in bed hacking, wheezing, and sniffing again. I managed to scrape it together to go to dinner to celebrate my 19 year sobriety birthday ( YAY ME!!!) with the hubby. He never ceases to amaze me, and surprised me with this beautiful bracelet with red heart and crystal charms. Anyhow, we went to dinner, then to Target for some more potent cold medicine (the other stuff obviously wasn't doing the trick). Well I'm wide awake... all night. I tried to go back to bed when David was getting ready for work, that didn't happen. I tossed and I turned. Then I decided to get up and do the laundry. Might as well. Besides, it will be done and if I pass out later this afternoon, no biggie, laundry is done, house is clean (well for the most part). I still have to clean our bathroom this week. It's going to be a busy weekend. Sadly, we lost a dear brother in Christ in our Emmaus/Chrysalis faith community two weeks ago. Almost 40 years old, and he died in his sleep. It was a shock to us all. I found out at my Joy Retreat. It was bittersweet that weekend. Anyhow, we have his celebration of life to attend out of town, then church on Sunday. Suffice to say, I'd better be better by Saturday morning or I'm not going to be happy. Sigh. Oh yeah, and I've got family drama up the ying yang going on in FL. I'm not at liberty to share details, but it really sucker punched me last Sunday when I talked to my mother. I just know this, I can put it in God's hands through prayer and know that all is going to be well. Faith is a wonderful thing.

I'm ALIVE!!!

Cold/cough is gone and I feel human again... I'm awake, showered, dressed, the dishwasher is clean and unloaded,  the bed is made and laundry is sorted for tomorrow. However, I'm debating on whether I'm going to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow is a very special day for me, and I think I'm going to go do something special for myself. I don't know what yet. Tomorrow I celebrate 19 YEARS of being clean and sober. My life since March 12, 1995 has taken many twists and turns, and for the better. It hasn't been without it's struggles, but the joy of it all is that I didn't have to drink or use over it, that my higher power has my back. My higher power and a tremendous support system of friends and family, and my biggest cheerleader of all, my husband David. We met before I got sober, at a Navy event in Seattle. Fortunately I wasn't drunk then or we may have never happened. He was cute, and I asked to 'borrow his shoulder' to rest on for the ride home back to base. He gave me his phone number, and I gave him mine... Then a lot went wrong for me and I found myself in rehab for 28 days and when I got out he called me, and just offered to talk and be a friend. After dealing with rotten relationships I was terrified and tried to end the phone call, said I was going to the galley to have dinner. Well, he offered to take me to the new Mexican place in town. The rest is history... God truly put him in my life for a reason.

Here we are on our 10th wedding anniversary in SF. 

Love and Bubble Wrap....

To quote Britney Spears...'Ooops I did it again'... I crashed on Sunday while at the Joy Retreat. Crashed on the concrete outside hard, to the extent of now I can't sleep and my knee is blue and red and swollen like a softball. David has threatened to wrap me in bubble wrap. I'm just tired and frustrated, because on top of this I'm coming down with a nasty cold (gotta love my immune system). Sigh. So tonight I'm up in the easy chair with my knee up and a cold compress going to bring down the swelling. Netflix and the X-Box are my friend. Another thing, I have a pile of laundry that is growing UPSTAIRS. I've been going through my mind how I'm going to manage this feat.... Going up and down the stairs is painful to say the least. Sigh. I will figure this out.

You really should listen to your Dr.'s voicemail when he calls...

I DO NOT HAVE A TORN ROTATOR CUFF....read on...I really should listen to my voicemail when my Dr. calls. My Dr.'s phone number popped up on my phone yesterday around 5, and I thought it was just my physical therapy reminder. No. So here's the news.... I DON'T HAVE A TORN ROTATOR CUFF! It's just a sprain. The MRI specialist sent the report to the Dr. on Monday (Dr. was out Monday - Wednesday), what was thought to be a tear as viewed on the computer by the ortho and my Dr. was in fact a shadow from my bone spur and the sprain swelling. Dr. had thought it only a sprain in the first place otherwise I would have been in severe pain sooner. Duh, that's what I'm thinking. They got to see the image before the specialist saw it on Friday and based on the ortho's opinion thought it was a tear. What a bonehead, no pun intended, Mr. Ortho... So no sling and continue with physical therapy until shoulder is strengthened. That totally made the beginning of what is going to be a fabulous, although rainy day! Whoot!

Technology and Homemaking...

I am what you might call a self-proclaimed 'Techno-Diva', a lover and collector of computer and technical gadgets that make my life easier, and that are just plain fun. Geek girl to the core I am. So in 2008 when the iPhone began it's mass distribution I just had to have one. I already had a cell phone and was texting up a storm and getting e-mail on the now 'pre-historic' Razor phone. I also had a Palm Pilot, remember those? Yet nothing could compare to the 3G Apple iPhone with it's many apps. A lot of them seemed useless, but I have discovered some that could make this 'House Frau's' life a lot easier. Over the years I have since upgraded to the iPhone4 and have stuck with that one.

One of the many apps is Any List, a free application that is a grocery list that allows you to share with your significant other on their smart phone, and it updates either way, if you add something he gets it, if he marks something off the list, you get the picture. It's very handy for a busy couple who has the tendency to forget the shopping 'list' at home. You ALWAYS have your phone with you nowadays when you go out. What's really cool is when it updates, the update pops up on your phone screen, and it's like voila! One less thing for you to pick up at the store, or one thing you need for that special recipe. It's also a handy recipe database, and takes the ingredients from the database and allows you to put them in your shopping list into the database. There are a few pre-set meals included with the app, but you can add your own, and it's very easy. 

Well, I have a busy morning ahead of me. Physical therapy today. I will most likely be back blogging this afternoon since I pretty much got everything in control around the house (Laundry and dishes are done, sink is clean, living room doesn't look like a disaster area). I'm working with one arm as my right arm is in a sling due to rotator cuff injury. That's going to take 8 weeks to heal. Fortunately I can type and drive small distances as long as I don't take my pain meds. Happy Monday my House Fraus!!!

Diablo 3 and Marriage

One of mine and David's secrets to our strong marriage, playing video games together, Diablo III in particular. It's a fun escape where we have to communicate, strategize, and run like Hell from the bad monsters when all else fails. Yeah, it's a little unconventional for some, but David and I aren't like other middle aged married couples. In some ways I'm glad we're not. 

Happy Monday.... at least I hope so.

Today is 'Mac' day. Taking my Mac Book in to see what that heck is going on with it. I've done all I can on my end (RAID, rebooting from disk, reloading software)... so now it's in the hands of the Apple crew. I must tell you, my stomach is in knots. My writing is my life and therapy and my Mac Book is my 'baby'. The hubby and I have been 'sharing' his Mac Book (we're a Mac family) and while it's been helpful, it's just not the same.

I actually slept in until six AM today. David didn't have to work overtime this morning so I was snoozing great until David gently woke me to ask me if my Apple appointment was today, then I was like 'Holy CRAP!' and jumped out of bed. I need to unload the dishwasher, I ran that yesterday before we left for church. I also need to unpack the new duvet cover we bought at Ikea yesterday. It's a pretty navy blue. Now we just need new sheets. When I was younger and before I met my husband, thread count didn't matter to me. Frankly, I didn't understand the whole concept, a sheet was a sheet. My eyes were opened after we were married and I had purchased a 'Bed in a Bag' sheet and comforter set from 'Wally World'.... it was 250 thread count and stiff and it took several washings to soften up. At the time, money was an issue and I thought I had gotten a great deal. Well, you get what you pay for. I am now a sheet snob and won't sleep on anything below 600 thread count and a down comforter. It does matter for a good night's sleep.

Well, I'm off for now. Have a great Monday and I'll post an update when I find out more about my 'baby'.

What do I miss???

I miss Saturday morning cartoons, not the stuff that they're passing off as cartoons now, but I want my Bugs Bunny and Road Runner show back, and SchoolHouse Rock. Yes, I digress some days to my childhood, but don't we all at some point or other? I also miss sleeping in on Saturday this morning. David had to work overtime and was up at 330, I woke up at 5... Part of it is I think I'm coming down with something. I have a crappy immune system, and earlier this week I was at the Dr.'s office for my shoulder, and I think I may have picked something up there. Medical Centers are germ havens, people just don't wash their hands or cover their mouths when they cough. So I'm going to take it easy today, medicate with some fizzy cold medicine, and hang with the hubby when he gets home.

Happy Valentine's Ladies... and Gentlemen if you are reading this...

Got 17 views, no comments, wondering if I offended anyone. I'm a social mutt so to speak, I'm fiscally conservative, socially liberal and I am a Christian. You won't find me discussing politics on this blog and please, don't post anything about your political views on this blog. That's not what it's there for. I'm here to blog about my daily life, offer up recipes, life hacks, some humor here and there, and every once in a while we may have a guest blogger. 

What has today been like? My husband works in an eyeglass lab, and it's crunch time, so he's been working a lot of overtime. Not working late, but going in at 5AM and working on Saturdays. I used to not be a morning person. If you woke me before 11AM you would be asking for trouble in the form of a refugee from the zombie apocalypse. Going on two weeks now and I have been up at either 3:30AM or 4AM bringing my hubby a hot cup of coffee to get his day started and sometimes packing his lunch for him. It's the little things that we do for each other that matter, and helping him get his day started in a positive way is one of those things. He's more productive at work which makes him happy, the boss happy, and in general...everyone happy. Anyhow, I'm actually starting to like this routine. I find myself getting more done, and I feel more energetic. My late mother in law (God rest her soul) would be proud. She taught me a lot about keeping house and the 'art of being a good wife'. When my husband asked me to marry him my answer wasn't yes or no it was "I can't cook".  His answer was "We shall have to remedy that." (Said in true Mel Gibson 'Braveheart' fashion).  This Valentine's morning I was unprepared... meaning David's Valentine's gift was not wrapped and still hidden in my unused purse next to the kitchen table. Don't ask. David, on the other hand, was. I don't know how he found the time with his crazy schedule this week, and commenting to me that he had not found the time to find me anything and he felt bad. Yeah right. Out came a medium size gift box with a silver heart on it... with a card. The card was beautiful, made me cry. Inside the box was a collection of freshwater pearl bracelets of every color... beautiful. Pearl is my birthstone. Yup, he's a keeper. Not because of that though. 

The past almost 19 years have not been easy. We've been married for almost 17. Apart for a year while I was still in the Navy and he had already retired and moved to CA to start his college and job and find a place for us to live. For you young ladies in love, young love. Marriage is work. It's not all flowers and romance and sex. It's communication, respect, friendship, teamwork, and unconditional love. David and I have been blessed to have our faith at the center of our marriage, without it I don't believe we would have made it sometimes. We've lost our baby, I lost my mind (breakdown and diagnosed with bipolar disorder), both of his parents died of cancer within seven years of each other, we've had to move twice, we've lost jobs, we've supported each other through college... Through it we have grown so much as a couple. 

Why I'm here....

I am a house frau and proud of it!

Why is it that a majority of the articles I have found regarding being a home maker/house wife always put kids in the picture??? I don't have children, but I am a home maker and proud of it, but ignorant people still give me the look when I say I'm a home maker. The look that says.... you don't have any children so what do you do all day??? Put down your lighters you feminists, this is MY choice. I had a career, but I didn't let it define me. I am ME, a creative, happy, strong woman who chooses to stay at home and manage her household along with other things. One of them writing, I am a blogger. So when you meet a woman and she says she's a home maker, don't dismiss her because she's not part of the 'working world'... she is, we most certainly are.

I have been researching further and have found some more blogs and sites for women who are home makers without children. I have found a few. Came across a very disturbing site... 'The Stepford Wives'. Oh HELL to the NO. While I love my husband, and enjoy my home making lifestyle, I am NOT a maid or Mommy to my husband's sometimes mess. I have read on there that they don't mind picking up after their husband's, that's all well and good, but I was not put on this Earth to let my husband make a mess and expect me to clean it up simply because I stay at home and don't have a career out of the home. Nor do I dress to please my husband... what the heck is that all about?? After years in the Navy I have earned the right to dress how I please when I am in my own home. My husband didn't marry me for a fashion show, or to be a mindless robot bound to 'serve' my husband. Don't get me wrong, I like to do nice things for my husband but I'm not going to drop whatever I'm doing the minute he hits the threshold of our door to bring him a drink and his slippers. He's a big boy, he can do things on his own. Yeah, he's worked a long day, but that doesn't mean he needs to be waited on hand and foot. We're partners in this marriage, and while my career isn't outside the home, we still respect each other's space as well as take care of each other's needs. I am a Christian woman, but I have a hard time with that whole 'submissive' movement that many Conservative Christian wives are a part of. God gave us free will, a mind, a soul and spirit. My husband loves me because I can think for myself, that we can have intelligent conversations that are outside of the realm of figuring out what he wants for dinner. I may be exaggerating what I saw on that site, but that was all my first impression. 

To the girls out there, there is so much for you to do now.... college, military, careers, marriage, motherhood. The wonderful part of it is now that you have a CHOICE that is yours and no one else's. I've done it all, minus the motherhood. Unfortunately my body had other ideas. I used to let the fact that I wasn't a mother consume me, only because that's what I felt my family and peers expected of me. I got over it. I am no less of a woman because I do not have children. I am not selfish either. Yeah, I've been called selfish and a 'sinner' because I had a hysterectomy at a young age. My reasons were my own, medically and personally. I am blessed with a wonderful family that consists of my husband and myself and our two kitties, Tybalt and Trinket. Don't let other's people ignorance define you. Embrace who you are, not what people expect of you.